Things look better in hindsight You know how most problems - when you look back at them - seem far less significant than they did at the time? Sometimes we are even grateful for them - wouldn't change them for anything. And notice how hindsight's view is more accurate. The problem appeared huge at the time, but actually wasn't that big a deal. Usually, it's like that. Wouldn't it be great if we could see our current problems in that diminished, more realistic way - and avoid the stress that comes with blowing them out of proportion? Caught in the gravitational pull of these issues, we can react in regrettable ways - damage relationships, make short sighted decisions, etc. Why do we exaggerate our problems to such existential proportions? It's because we think they will last forever. A brighter future makes a better present Imagine you go to the pantry for one of your favourite biscuits - and there are none left. Oh no! You really wanted that biscuit! Disappointment. Frustration. Maybe annoyance at whoever ate the last biscuit, or at life for not being perfect. You feel you deserve better. A story about it begins to spin up in your mind. But then someone tells you not to worry, Bob has gone for more biscuits. They'll be back soon. Yay! Good old Bob! Suddenly, the disappointment, frustration, and annoyance dissolve. Everything is ok. The problem is solved. But is the problem really solved? Right now - in this moment - you still don't have a biscuit. And you want one. You don't have what you want. You should be suffering! But our present experience is not based on what is happening now. It is based on what we expect will happen. If we're upset, its not because of a present bad situation, it's because we expect the present bad situation to continue. In a strange way, we can't imagine it ever ending. Although rationally we know it will end, on an existential level we're not in touch with the experience of it being over. When we can genuinely foresee an end to the problem, it stops bothering us. So the problem is not the problem. The problem is that we believe it will always be. Forever. This might sound strange. But try it. Really envisage and embody that future where the problem doesn't exist - and it stops being a problem right now. If it continues to be a problem it just means that we can't, or won't, really imagine a brighter future. Inner vision protects us from outer circumstances What about when the future really is bleak? Life doesn't always get better. Sometimes the future will be as bad, or worse than the present - with poor or deteriorating health, for example. We can't hide behind rose coloured glasses and deny the reality of the difficulties in our lives. Well, it's not so much about envisioning a better outer future. It's about connecting with an inner inspiring one. Really imagine a future being happy, inspired, loving, at peace, grateful,... - regardless of our circumstances - and our current problems disappear. I'm not saying it's easy to do this in confronting circumstances. I find it hard enough with relatively small issues. But the theory holds. And when we do connect with the experience of that inspired vision - our present experience is dramatically uplifted. It changes how we see things now. Everything takes on new meaning. Difficulties genuinely become learning opportunities - automatically. Resources that we hadn't noticed become blatantly apparent. Surprisingly, the more palpably we envisage a vibrant future, the more present we are now. We are empowered to embrace the present and all its potential. The overlap of Psychology and Spirituality In positive psychology terms this is embracing our Future Self. It's also what it means to embody a growth mindset. In Buddhism, it is known as taking Refuge. Cultivating a perpetual remembrance of our enormous potential. Summary Our problems are not the problem. It's the way we see them that makes them problems - especially the way we subtly believe they will last forever. Don't focus on the problem. Focus on who we deeply aspire to become. Then we see everything much more clearly.